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p214 DEAREST BROTHER, - I am very thankful indeed you have been satisfied. I have no doubt the meeting will be a true basis of blessing, for example, the grace of God which gave it, and is connected with it. Many, at any rate, felt the Lord very decidedly giving His hand to help us out of a trying position, a fresh start in grace; I have no doubt of it. The Lord only keep us in the place in which humiliation brings us. Effects shewed themselves evidently in the hearts of several. …
The meeting referred, as I said, to our own failing, not to other people's; I am sure it did with me altogether. I feel on clearer ground as to it than ever I did, and relieved from the difficulty of dealing with evil in the condition of failure. We had a meeting afterwards at Bristol (not to mix it up with the Taunton one) where we were free to speak of matters. Then I took a step forward, delivering to myself, and removing a difficulty in others' way who complain of me. I declared I had entirely withdrawn my original letter as to B.; not that I saw anything wrong in it, only one passage had been complained of, that in which I said I could not break bread, &c. This I had put in as due to brethren, to tell them openly what I felt about it, instead of leaving them in the dark; it was openness and confidence towards them. But, while it took away what was a barrier to several, a grievance to all who object to me, so that they had spoken about it, I felt that it freed me from a perpetual formal question why I did this, and why I had not done that, and threw it over on the abiding merits of the case, and I drop out of the question, if there be any desire of approaching; if not, it is no matter. On the merits of the case I cannot have a doubt, and there the matter now stands, as far as I am concerned. There exists nothing between me and B. but its own state, and the pains I took to bring it before M. and C. in grace; nor, as regards others, have they this topic to dwell upon.
I do not think they were aware of what they wished; for the act, as far as my position is concerned, has the most complete and important bearing, but I had weighed it before the Lord, and declared definitively it was done. I was cross questioned and examined to know what I would do, but I refused peremptorily to commit myself to any course for the future. I was Christ's servant, and what was His will I should do, as far as grace enabled me, and I knew how. I felt that it broke the link with the old organisation of the brethren, if such I may call it. I had left that individually in leaving Ebrington Street, but the error having been generally rejected, that link was, in a certain sense, renewed by a circular to them all, and involved me in their position. Its withdrawal put me again completely free and isolated. I told the brethren that I had not a thought but through grace of having closer ties with those who walked in His fear, but the original link of association, the only ostensible one, was gone. I felt it delivered me from all link or discussion with gatherings, put B. out of court, and set me free in communion with brethren going right on the sole and simple ground of the unity of the church of God.
With them it will consequently bind the bonds tighter and on true and healthier grounds; while however free to act in grace towards any if occasion arise, as I heartily desire, I am free from all link with anything else; I am not involved in their responsibilities, as that letter implied, and what was urged as a stumbling block to others is gone. I am Christ's servant, untrammelled by aught save His will, which is true liberty. It astonished some of the brethren, but it was a settled thing in my own mind.
I am prepared to suppose, unless God, who certainly is at work, prevent, and rise above it all in grace - however clearly I explained it - that many will take advantage of it to say I am changed, that I confess I was wrong, and see I was unjustifiable in my judgment as to B.; I am prepared for all this. I have to do with B. as a Christian now, and not to defend what I did then. I feel it a happier ground, though my object was to take what was alleged as a difficulty out of the way. They cannot complain now; the sole question is what are the real merits of the case. It has set my own mind abundantly free; I do not trouble myself the least with consequences drawn from it. It gives a new start, and gets rid of festering question and details. Others, I suppose, will tell you of the meeting, so I add no details. I felt at the end of the second day it was really closed, as did many others - that its proper character of humiliation had; and though the evening of that day there was much spiritual energy, I believe it was beginning to merge, though there was confession, into rather more intercession for the future - all most enjoyable in its place, but not our meeting. I believe the Lord ordered the whole.
Affectionately yours,
Beloved Brother, in Him.
W. writes me word he has withdrawn his printed papers from circulation and thinks of something else.
London, July 26th, 1852.
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