p240 Dearest G V Wigram, - My eye has been again bad, though not very bad, the effect, I suppose, of work and change of living; the weather has been severe - all was ice where I slept. It is not so cold now. I rested my eye, and only listened as we were reading over our work for correction. We are getting it a little faster now, and more than half is finished. I feel somewhat a prisoner here with it, but I trust it may be blessed. It was dreadfully needed; one cannot often quote Luther, and never trust him to prove any truth. …

As regard Bethesda, I am on quiet but unmoved ground. I have judged, and the conviction is only strengthened by the consideration, that they have deliberately tampered with dishonour - open, known dishonour done to Christ. Hence, if all were to go back there, I should not. I say nothing of motives, though many present themselves, but the fact is so. I fear love being asleep towards them, but my sober judgment, formed I believe according to God, remains unchanged. God has allowed that they should put their hands to it in the Letter of the Ten, for every upright soul that will not tamper with evil, and so blind himself. Men have been angry that I have spoken of a fresh start, but such is equally unmovedly my position. It is a humbling one, and it is great grace that we are permitted to make such. It is the confession of failure on the first, so that there is no indifference or pride. The principle and object is the same, I hope, the attempt with more intelligence of what we are about, and more resolute purpose of heart through grace. I have not a new truth to maintain, but I hope not to yield what I had for men's sake, as much as I did before. I did not understand its value before as I do now, nor its importance. I mourn over many simple souls involved in the departure I cannot join with, but the Lord does all things well, and knows why He has permitted it; they will need, I suppose, the process of delivery. … I think you would find no wavering as to the position in which I believe mercy has set me. I would do anything to testify to souls, led away in it, my anxiety and love to them. But I decline going through the evil and proving it, and occupying myself positively with it. I told them so in Rawstorne Street, on my return from abroad, a couple of years ago. My position is a quiet but ascertained one. I desire to be acting with Christ, without closing my heart against any movement of God's working in those who are astray.

I have good news in general from France. Where I was stopped and my passport taken from me, and the meetings broken up, the commissary of police and the sub-prefect have been removed; and -, who was subsequently awhile in prison, was there the other day, and they met in peace and, instead of some sixty, are now a hundred breaking bread in increased firmness and experience: such are the gracious and sovereign ways of God. …

In general, my own soul has, I think, gained and profited by its restraint here. I could not work, read, or study as wont, and I must needs be more with the Lord, or it was more subjective, as men say now. I have gone on, however, at intervals with the Études, and have gone through part of Ephesians, Philippians and Colossians - of the last learned much more the character than heretofore. I have also translated in English from Hebrews 7 nearly to the end, and practised a little German reading to consolidate the heard and spoken, but I shall be glad to be free. The under police were a little disposed to make a difficulty as to my stay, but the upper removed it at once when they were in the office. … Peace be unto you. Thank you much for your news of London. Kindest love to the brethren. I shall be rejoiced to see all the brethren again.

Affectionately yours.

My eye is to-day sensibly better, but I cannot use it so as to work freely or apply myself.

Elberfeld, [about] Jan. 25th, 1855.

[51128E]