p14 Rolfe Leslie, At last, dear -, I take up my pen to write a line to you in reply to your letter. As to your Brahmapootras, I feel it must have been a great chagrin to you, but as you had to reproach yourself - though this does not always soften our misfortunes - it has left you nothing to say. I feel with you in it. But even in these little things we have to see the Lord's hand, for nothing is little to Him which affects the souls of His children. How did you feel when you found it out in the morning - vexed, irritated, angry with those who did it or wishing vengeance against them? All this, you see, shews the state of your mind, and this is the real importance of the matter. I feared these Brahmapootras for you, not that there was anything wrong in keeping or taking care of them, but from the effect on your own spirit. The poor fowls were very innocent, and so is taking care of them. But I feared your heart had got engaged in them in a way that was doing you mischief, and now the Lord has taken them away. How good He is, to think even of the effect of fowl-keeping on your soul that lives for ever!

With regard to Lacrosse, healthy exercise for boys of your age is quite to be desired, but here too, I feared, and you have learned a lesson by this too. How many we have to learn in a way humbling to ourselves! And I am so thankful to see the Lord teaching you, and even in your letter I think I see the effect of it, and bless the Lord. I was very glad to get it. I could not have advised you to stay away, but I am not sorry you did; it is always well conscience should work, and the doubt you were brought into as to salvation will quicken your conscience and make you more watchful, and not only so, but make you feel your dependence on grace every moment, and help you to discern why such or such a thing is to be avoided; for you are now growing a great boy, and have to be exercised for yourself before God; and walking with a conscience exercised before Him, you will find yourself happy and strengthened too. I am glad you are in correspondence with -. At your age you need companions, and our hearts get knit with some, and it is a great point [that] it should be with those who help and do not hinder us.

At Barbados we had a good deal of blessing. Here, though the brethren are walking well enough as to walk, things are pretty dead around, they need more spirituality themselves. I have been a hundred miles through the island, which is a magnificent one, and beginning after much misery to revive a little. After all, the coloured people and houses are not nearly as wretched as in Demerara, which is very prosperous.

In many parts here inns are not to be had, but I got on very well, only it is very expensive. Commonly, if people go a tour, they buy a carriage and horses, and sell them when it is over; conveyances there are none, I only found one. Kindest love to all. I remember all the kindness I received, dear -, with the same affection to you all as ever. … The Lord be with you and keep you.

Ever affectionately yours in the Lord.

Jamaica, May 26th.

[52008E]