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p63 DEAREST BROTHER, - My days pass on so much alike one another, and so confined to the house, that a letter from me cannot have, as to work, much to interest you, but I will not leave your kind letter, which I was very glad to receive, unanswered. I have preached out round on Sundays (as my German is pretty well grown up again after a six years' disuse) and here on a week day, but I am not yet content. I think they need some deepening, as to being dead with Christ, and here, save in the Conference, which was very happy, I have had little opportunity of much unfolding or pressing it. They have forgiveness, are familiar with being in the wilderness, and the hope of heaven, and the Lord's coming - not enough I think with present association with Christ - but who is? But they are going on happily, and the work is very considerably spread. Being saved, and God's love in it, they rest upon - not so much being in Christ before God. Still they have these truths, but a good deal of contrast (which is quite true) not of present association. I speak of the general character of the work, for there is much to rejoice in, and I am thoroughly happy with them all. There is a good deal of kindness amongst Germans, and brotherly love, though in this manufacturing town they see little of one another - I, at this moment, almost nothing - save at the meetings.
I have gone through all the prophets into German; the Psalms were done, and we are in Job - doing all the hardest first in case I should not finish. I am somewhat anxious about staying away so long from England, but trust the Lord may guide. I work by myself from soon after 7 a.m. to 9 - breakfasting alone; then 9 to 12.30 p.m. at translation with them; from 3 to 7.30 again, and then I work through reserved hard passages alone, and then often until midnight alone - letters and what I have to do; so I am not idle. As to going out, I go to the post at dinner time, or for ten minutes elsewhere.
I have gone through Hebrews by reason of poor S.'s tracts, and analysed the epistle, making it all very clear to myself, at least, clearer than ever, and leaving no shade to my own mind in any part. It is being copied. I cannot conceive how any one that has closely examined it can doubt for a moment as to it. But it has put the scripture statements in a clearer shape and certainty in my own mind, for there is nothing really new in the doctrine. It is an examination and analysis of the epistle, shewing what it teaches and the ground it takes. I have kept this apart, save stating the ground and some allusions, and then answered statements of the tract in the end part. So that the first, with very little trouble, may be used apart for helping in reading the epistle. I have a paper too, on the Scriptures and the church for Present Testimony.*
{*["Collected Writings," vol. 23. p. 172.]}
I get on feeling I am old, and as to my body, worn out, but through mercy my mind is as fresh as ever, judging I trust all evil in me, past and present, more earnestly than ever, but finding unutterable goodness and mercy even there, and I hope living more with Christ and more in the Father's love. But I find intercession weak in me, though I know I love His people. For Himself He stands alone, and grace above us all. Still I should like to be more like Him, more with Him. Even my work absorbs me too much. The steam, so to speak, is spent in propelling the vessel along. Still He helps and sustains; and I find when it has not to be propelled, and a moment's rest is there - oh! how sweet it is - the steam is there, and rises up in unbounded thankfulness to unbounded grace, by grace revealed, and goodness that never fails. And so I am somewhat consoled but not content.
But I must close. … I was at Duisburg for Christmas and Lord's day, and saw the brethren. A large room Christmas afternoon was filled to cramming. The Lord grant there may have been blessing. I have found at any rate great attention to the truth plainly put, and in several places there is considerable desire to hear. I have encouraging accounts from America. There are at least seven in the States now, who have given up everything and come out to work. New York getting on with Brooklyn, through grace and mercy, happily, better founded through His grace than ever. I always dread my work not being solid. …
Elberfeld, January, 10th 1870.
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