p365 Dear J Leslie, - I have had your letter a long time on my table waiting for a seasonable [moment] to write, not as to mere time, but to give you some real news of what was going on here. It has been going on so evenly from day to day that there was little to relate. It has never been God's way to give me much apparent present effect of work: it was good for me, I doubt not, to be kept doing it as work to Him. Besides, very often there was nothing very positive. In a few places I have had manifest blessing in evangelising, but my faith and courage are feeble in looking for present fruits; only I am willing to serve the Lord and His saints - I hope I can say to be nothing, if He is everything; and we are nothing, but if God gives one to serve, it is a wonderful mercy. I have gone on here just labouring as the opportunity served and the door was open. I have some hope that it has cheered and strengthened and refreshed them. …

Patience it is while we are here, and patience must have its perfect work, that we may be perfect and complete in all the will of God. I feel, though desiring assuredly to see the saints happy, and the prosperity of His chosen, my heart looks more to His coming and to see Himself. That will be joy, and He will tell us what He thinks of us, and I am not afraid of that, for I am sure it will be true, and infinitely full of grace. Of good in myself I have no idea; of evil I know, alas! much: but I know what He is to me, and yet it passes knowledge. Yet that is a step further on; it is knowing His love in itself, apart from all judgment or grace in view of service, though a word of approbation would be untold delight, but that between Himself and oneself: but His love I am sure is a source of infinite delight. One has, in working here, to lay up one's happiness, so to speak, with Him, and I have little leisure to quietly enjoy. Still, when one gets it, it will be wondrous the joy; and one ought to get enough of it in spirit to know what it will be, and this I sometimes feel I do not enough. Well, we must cast it all on Him and trust Him. To serve as well as I know how, I think I am ready, but enjoy I sometimes think I do not enough; but I am content, and, if I have to blame myself, leave all to Him. …

In about a month, if all be well, I shall be off. They have a Conference at Melbourne, and then I purpose leaving by Sydney for San Francisco, and so by America and Canada for England.

Affectionately yours in the Lord.

Christchurch, March 2nd, 1876.

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