p194 [C H Mackintosh] DEAREST BROTHER, - Thank you for your very kind note. I need hardly say how very thankful I was to know you were clear. I find the great thing is to get enough above circumstances to be occupied with Christ in His full grace; you cannot if your own conscience is not clear, but if it is our business is to be occupied with grace and Christ. I said to -, who was afraid to take any step, not knowing what it might come to in the future - that there was no future for the Christian but glory, that he had to do God's will at the moment and all the rest was in God's hands, and must be left to Him. It is a great truth and He has settled it all already. …

My illness and the seeming close approach of death has been more than blessed to me. I feel in quite a new way that I belong to the other world. The truths all abide, but my spirit is over the river. I am a great deal better, and for study work up to it as usual, perhaps not quite for so long a time; but all, even religious services seem to belong to this world, to be temporary, but the Father's love and Christ everything. I believed it before, and in a certain sense acted upon it, but I am in that company now. I always was, but now seem consciously dependent on God, to live or to die. What is eternal is our portion, and Christ fills it. …

I did not doubt for more than a year before -'s affair, nearer two, I believe, for it pressed on my spirit before I left America, that it was a systematic demoralisation that was going on. W. had given up all as hopeless; I could not while the Lord was there, otherwise I should have left brethren then, as to which I was deeply exercised, but I felt it was not faith. From that I have never swerved, only I felt sure positive present duty was there as to God, and He has not failed. As it was going, I prayed that He would maintain His testimony to Christ and His truth as He had brought it before us, and I believe that souls are in a far more healthy state than two years ago. We must only leave all to God, and there are things calculated to give deep sorrow. I must close, dear brother, and with many thanks for your kind note, and an affection I heartily reciprocate - trusting you may fully find the Lord has guided you to -.

Ever affectionately yours in Christ.

November, 1881.

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